When you struggle with believing…
God has put this on my heart and it’s taken me 24 hours to put it into words, I’d love your thoughts on it 💙
I didn’t have the Cowboy Christmas I had envisioned, in terms of performance. However, God has a way of using these trying times, to show us the light at the end of a dark tunnel… and it’s not always with a win in the arena.
Like anything in life… including life itself, mindset and perspective is everything. God’s word says it best.
Our Faith can move mountains
Matthew 17:20
Its something I’ve been told by some of the most valuable and cherished people that I have crossed paths with, this is something I’ve read in hundreds of books, heard on podcasts, and heck even preached to others…. however, when the rubber meets the road, I STRUGGLE with it. I struggle with believing in myself, I struggle to see the talent God has blessed me with, I struggle with seeing the passion he has placed in my heart.
I’ve always thought, that lack of Faith is on me, and only me, it doesn’t affect anyone but myself, right?
Wrong
What a tough thing for Jesus to watch; to know he has put me in every season of life for a purpose, knowing I am capable of seeing it, and conquering, but letting the enemy have the upper hand on my thoughts, enough to leave that ounce of doubt in the back of my mind… it doesn’t seem like much right?
It is everything, it is crippling, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically.
That small ounce of doubt leaves that door cracked, and believe me when I say, the enemy doesn’t miss a cracked door. He will kick that thing open and make himself at home faster than we even know what happened if we don’t fill our minds with the word of God constantly.
I want to go home, throw in the towel, because it’s the “realistic” thing to do… I’m
not even in the Top 100 in the standings, I wasn’t even going to rodeo this summer, I didn’t want to rodeo this summer, but that’s where God has placed me. I’ve been fighting it so hard I have failed to see the opportunities in front of me, and instead have been “proving” all the reasons I never should have done this in the first place.
Home is a safe place, it’s an easy place, it’s a comfortable place. I am a worker, I know how to work, I love to work, it’s something I have control over, but what growth is found in comfort and control? How can we ever see the true work of God when we won’t give it ALL to him.
I believe God needs us to be uncomfortable in our flesh, to be comfortable in the spirit.
Here’s to a door filled with so much of God’s word, the devil will just keep on walkin when he sees the crack:
Thank you Jesus for your unconditional mercy, grace and love.
